so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
