As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
