Jerry, you need to find god
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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