and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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