I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
