as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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