Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
