I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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