she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
