i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
