My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I need to calm my uterus...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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