Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize