i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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