Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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