A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
