Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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