I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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