Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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