OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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