He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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