hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
