Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
