apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
