just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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