i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
