Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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