i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
