he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this boner is exhausting
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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