i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
