probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
