Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
