how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
