I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
