one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
