ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
