Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
