Whats the glycemic index on semen?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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