Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
