Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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