My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize