around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
