My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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