Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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