why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize