fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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