You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
