It was confusing and full of hummus
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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