We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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