I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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