can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
