girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
