It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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