I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize