drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you had me at cake vodka
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
